There Goes My Life
by Seylin
Summary: [Songfic] Sirius watches his life go by. Set before the Potter’s die. [Slash, RemusSirius. Mpreg.]


Title: There Goes My Life  
Author: Seylin  
Summary: -Songfic- Sirius watches his life go by. Set before the Potter's die.  
Rating: PG-13  
Warning: Slash, Remus/Sirius. Mpreg.  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. Song lyrics belong to Kenny Chesney. Some of the lyrics have been altered by the author to fit the premise better. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

There Goes My Life

In two weeks they would all be leaving Hogwarts. The Marauder's would be no more, at least at Hogwarts; they each had agreed that they would remain friends to the death and beyond.

Sirius and James both posed for pictures with friends. Sirius' eyes kept glancing around for his boyfriend, Remus… well really he should be saying fiancé; Sirius smirked as he thought back to the night a week and a half ago. That night he had proposed and Remus had accepted through happy tears. The night before had been a full moon, Sirius had taken him to the hospital wing that morning then gone to get some sleep before classes began. Remus was supposed to be joining them, any minute now.

A smile broke out on his face when he saw the familiar sandy blonde hair appear in the crowd of students. Sirius left James and Lily to go meet Remus. His smile faded slightly when he saw how pale Remus was. Last night had not been particularly bad night so he didn't understand why Remus was as pale as he was.

"Moony?" He questioned reaching out to take his hand. Remus looked up meeting his eyes and Sirius' worry increased tenfold. It was rare that he saw such sadness and fear in his lover's eyes. "What's wrong Rem?"

"We… we need to be alone… talk…" Remus told him, accepting Sirius' offered hand. Sirius nodded and led him off to one of the hidden rooms they had found in their years of being at Hogwarts.

Once Sirius had cast a silencing charm, just to be on the safe side, he turned to Remus.

"Alright, what's going on Rem?" Sirius questioned. "Are you having second thoughts about us getting married? Cause you know I'll give you more time if that's what you need." Remus shook his head.

"It's not that…"

"Then what?"

"I'm… I'm pregnant," Remus stated softly. He had to jump to catch the unconscious Sirius seconds later.

**All he could think about was I'm too young for this.  
Got my whole life ahead.  
Hell I'm just a kid myself.  
How'm I gonna raise one.  
**

"P-pregnant?" Sirius questioned twenty minutes later. Remus nodded.

"Poppy confirmed it after I reacted badly to the healing potion she always gives me," Remus replied.

"But how? I mean… we're guys Rem."

"Poppy said she wasn't positive but she thinks it has something to do with the werewolf. Males werewolves can give birth," Remus answered. Sirius went quiet, deep in thought. All the plans they had been making, they had wanted to travel, wanted to do so many things… they had even talked about children but that was a few years down the road and they were going to adopt!

**All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.  
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.  
Oh well, those plans are long gone**.

Remus watched the emotions raging in Sirius' eyes. His heart was throbbing against his ribs. He didn't want to offer what he was about to but if it would make Sirius happy he would do anything.

"Siri…" Sirius looked up into his tearful eyes. "If you want… I'll have an abo-" Remus didn't get to finish as Sirius cut him off.

"Don't you dare say the word 'abortion' Remus," Sirius growled his eyes narrowing.

"But I'll do it Siri, if it will make you happy, I'll do it!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius watched him for a moment and then smiled as he leaned forward and captured Remus' lips with his own. He cupped his cheeks in his hands as he broke the kiss, stroking away the tears that fell.

"You having an abortion would not make me happy Rem. I would feel guilty for urging you to end a life and you would feel guilty for going through with it. This baby… it's you and me. Sure it will throw off our plans a little bit but the big thing is that we will be together Rem. You and I will get married, we'll find a small place and we'll raise our baby together," Sirius assured him.

Remus gasped out a cry as he wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck and cried into his shoulder. Sirius smiled softly and stroked his hair. He held onto Remus tightly, already thinking about how their plans would change.

"There goes my life," he thought, but it wasn't a sad thought.

**And he said,  
There goes my life.  
There goes my future, my everything.  
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.  
There goes my life...  
**

Two years later Sirius stood from the kitchen table as he heard the now familiar cry of "Daddy!" Coming out into the foyer he smiled and scooped his little girl up throwing her into the air, causing her to cry out in joy, before he caught her and brought her close.

Remus smiled as he watched them before climbing up the stairs to get ready to put Cassie to bed. He could hear her jabbering to Sirius in her baby talk as they walked into the kitchen. Each night Cassie would ask about all the pictures of her on the refrigerator and Sirius would tell her about the memories. That time with him was basically her bedtime story.

Two years ago they had both been frightened kids, getting married quickly and settling down into a life… both questioning how they could have ever gotten themselves into something like this.

Now he knew neither of them would change anything.

**A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.  
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.  
Oh yeah...he loves that little girl.  
**

Sirius leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen as he watched Cassie climb the stairs, one step at a time, and teddy bear in one hand. At the top she turned and gave him a bright and sleepy smile.

"Sleep tight Cassie girl," Sirius told her.

"Night night Daddy," she answered.

**Poppa's waiting to tuck her in,  
As she fumbles up those stairs.  
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.  
Sleep tight, gray eyes and bouncin' curls.  
**

Sirius smiled after she had disappeared. He slowly climbed the stairs and stood outside her room listens to Remus sing her a lullaby. He had never thought his future would turn out like this.

Sirius couldn't have been happier.

**He smiles...  
There goes my life.  
There goes my future, my everything.  
I love you, daddy good-night.  
There goes my life.  
**

Cassie Luck had just secured her trunk into the car of her friend's parents. She shook her head as Sirius insisted on checking the oil in the car even though it wasn't theirs. She had wanted to say goodbye at home as to not see the tears she knew would be shed.

"Hey Cass, if your dad's last name is Black how come yours is Luck? I've always wanted to ask," her friend questioned.

"I changed it legally when I was five. After Poppa became a permanent. I wanted my name to be part of both of them so Lu from Poppa's Lupin and the Ck from Daddy's Black," she explained. A hand rested itself on her shoulder and she turned to look up at her Poppa, who gave her a smile.

"You're good to go Cassie," Sirius told her coming to stand beside Remus. She smiled at them both and threw her arms around them. "You have my key right?"

Cassie nodded holding it up for him to see before putting it safely back in her pocket.

"I'll send an owl when I'm settled," she promised. Moments later she was in the car and headed off to the train station.

**She had that Honda loaded down.  
With new robes and 15 pairs of shoes and his Gringotts account key.  
He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said you're good to go.  
She hugged them both and headed off to Hogwarts.  
**

Sirius watched her go, fighting back tears. Remus slipped his hand into Sirius' resting his head on his shoulder.

"Why did it have to go so quickly Rem?" He questioned. Remus just shook his head not trusting his voice to speak. "I think I'm going to visit James and Lily-flower." Remus lifted his head and kissed him gently.

"Will you be home for supper?" He asked. Sirius nodded before starting off down the street, taking the long way to have time to think.

**And he cried,  
There goes my life.  
There goes my future, my everything.  
I love you.  
Baby good-bye.  
**

Remus turned before entering the house, watching Sirius disappear. His heart thudded in his chest and he wanted to call out to Sirius. Why did it feel like he was watching his life walk away?

"Baby goodbye…" He whispered.

**There goes my life.  
There goes my life.  
Baby good-bye.**

Author's Note: This now picks up on that fateful night of October 31, 1981.


End file.
